CHAPTER 10...MORE REHAB & MORE SUCCESS !

It has been a while since I had an opportunity to sit down and continue with my story of my journey.."ALONG THE WAY BACK"... to my present day life. In my last chapter I told you about my surgeries ahead of me as well as some of the injuries that I had sustained. I left off with the fact that I was still considered legally blind in both eyes. This brings me to one of my most painful surgeries. I had to have eye surgery on both eyes. Both eyes had detached retinas and both had several cuts, both to the eyelids, as well as cuts on the pupil of both eyes. My right eye had been almost torn out and the orbit that it sits in, had to be reshaped in order to set my eye back in place. Not to make this story any longer than it has to be, I eneded up having 3 surgeries on my right eye and 2 surgeries on my left eye...all back to back! I regained sight in my left eye but lost not only the sight in my right eye, but also I lost control of movement in that eye. This condition left me with the appearance of being cross eyed. Later, I would learn just how much this would impact my life.

After these surgeries, I vividly recall a conversation that took place with the 3 most important people in my life, at that time. My Mother, my Doctor and our Attorney. All 3 of them had gotten together in my hospital room. This meeting took place in hospital number 4, after surgery number 16 and just before the start of 18 months of physical therapy, speech therapy, social and psychological therapy. In this conversation, I remember our attornry, speaking on behalf of both my family and myself, that all future surgeries that were being discussed, for reconstructive and plastic surgery for my face, both arms, my right shoulder and my torso, were not life threatning and would be put off indefinitly, until either I or my family made that decision to perform those surgeries. It was felt that for what I had been through and survived, the fact that I was scarred and had some disfigurement was something that I could live with for now and possibly the rest of my life.

I remember hearing my Mother cry and saying to the doctor..."No more, PLEASE no more surgeries. I can't take another one and my son neesds to come home!" When I realized this was my last surgery, I thought I would be well in a few days, get up and walk out of that hospital. NOTHING could have been further from the truth!

More to follow ...

CHAPTER 9....REHAB !

As I mentioned in my last chapter, I was now able to talk a little. I had some power to use the two words of 'yes' and 'no' to let people know things. As I took in all the things going on around me, I could not help but feel very much alone, in this crowd of people. I knew no one. I remembered no one. I had no feelings for anyone.

Things went fast for me at this point. I remember the doctors coming in and telling my family what was wrong with me, what operations I would need and how long all this could possibly take. Their main concerns were 4 major injuries. I had a plate in my head and they were concerned about the frequency of seizures. I had received a severe injury to my right shoulder and the entire deltoid muscle had been ripped away, along with the rotator cuff and it would need extensive surgery. My right forearm and left wrist had been crushed and they were considering taking off my forearm just below the elbow and fusing my left wrist in place. Last but certainly not least, I was blind. My face shield on my helmet had shattered and all of the debris went into both eyes. In one eye the optic nerve had been severed and in the other there was a lot of debris and fragments embedded in my eye along with a detached retina.

All of these issues were discussed in my presence, with my family members, the family attorney and a private investigator, who would be going over my case. At the time all of this meant nothing to me because although I heard the words that were spoken, I had no sense of what they meant. I cannot tell you if days or weeks went by before my first surgery as I had no way to tell time. I can say that as they progressed, a total of 16 operations in 4 different hospitals, a member of my family was always there. Some of the major ones were plastic and reconstructive surgery on my face to realign my face. Metal rods implanted in my forearm. Plastic rotator cuff implanted in my shoulder. Removal of my ruptured spleen and part of my Colon. Implant in my left wrist to promote the use of my fingers again. These are just a few of the major ones that caused me the most pain.

This is also where it gets difficult. As I was told over and over again that this person was my Father or my Mother or my Sister, I was always sad to hear them speak of 'this other person' who they said was me! How large I was because I had been a bodybuilder for so many years or how much energy I always seem to have or how many things I had accomplished in my life. Many times pictures were shown to me of me doing different things and so called 'friends' from my past were brought in to see me. I knew no one and I knew nothing of my past! It also didn't help that I saw mostly in blacks and greys. More about that later.

My surgeries however took a toll on me. As I progressed with my surgeries, my vocabulary increased. I was now speaking very slowly but I was speaking. I had nurses and doctors that evaluated my progress and I understand that sometime around my 12th or 14th surgery, it was determined that I was an amnesiac and that my mind had regressed to that of a 7 year old child. Additionally, I also would need speech therapy, would need to learn how to walk again, how to write, learn braille, because up to that point, no eye surgeries had been done yet and no one in my family had made a decision to permit the surgeries. Keep in my, I was 'legally' blind by normal standards. My range of vision prior to any surgery only allowed me to see blacks and greys and some shapes. Still, this didn't deter my family from bringing people in to see me or from them trying to show me pictures. As my Mom put it, she was always hopeful that one day, the RIGHT picture or person would cause me to remember and 'literally' see the light of day.

More Rehab to follow...

Chapter 8, Learning to Speak

As I mentioned in my last chapter, I was very afraid and felt helpless and vulnerable to everyone around me. I can't explain why I felt this way, only that it was an overwhelming feeling that made me feel like I wanted to crawl into a deep hole and hide from everyone. The nurses and my family were still all around me and were talking to me about so many different things that it all made no sense to me.

So it began. As I began to focus on what was around me, there were 3 things that amazed me. First, how tall everyone looked next to me. They seemed like giants and it was quite intimidating. It didn't register that all these people were 'standing' next to my bed and that I was actually 'laying down'. Second, how fast they were able to speak. Their words came fast and seemed unrecognizable to me, as I struggled to understand anything they were saying. Third, I was amazed at how fast and how easy they could move around the room. It seemed no effort at all was involved in their movements. Walking back and forth from one side of the room to the next, moving an arm or turning their heads, leaning close to me and then with no effort at all, able to lean back. Use of their hands and fingers to hold things and grab the bed, with no sense of pain or effort on their part. This all seemed amazing to me, since the slightest effort to turn my head, open my eyes or even try to lift a finger, took so much effort and always caused me so much pain. Also it was odd to me the way these people looked. As I looked down at my body, still wrapped in cast and bandages and still with wires and tubes coming from me, I wondered why these other people did not have the same things on them.

I remember being told over and over that my name was Rico and that I had been hurt badly on my motorcycle. The nurse asked me over and over if I remembered this. I remember looking at her as she moved her head from side to side or up and down. Her words had no meaning but it was her actions that drew my attention. As her head went side to side she pointed to her mouth and slowly said the word 'no' ! She drew it out as she said it and kept pointing to her mouth. When she moved her head up and down, she also pointed to her mouth and said the word 'yes' very slowly and drawn out. Next she picked up my hand and held a finger and then she took what looked like a small pin and stuck the end of my finger. As she did this, she looked at me, nodded her head up and down and asked if it hurt. As I sruggled to pull my finger away, she kept saying the same word 'yes' and nodding her head. I got the message. I let out a very slow and mournful 'YES', imitating her as best I could. It worked and she stopped poking my finger. Next, she rubbed my same hand and held it and kept it warm in her hand. "Does this hurt ?" She again said the word 'no' slowly and pointed to her mouth. I caught on much quicker this time and again I imitated her and very slowly, with no mournful wail this time, said the word 'no' !

My first two words since I had been run over, had now been spoken. These words were important to me because in my mind, thes two words now gave me a way to tell people when I was in pain and when I was not. More to follow!