CHAPTER 5: The I.C.U. Ward

I don't remember how much time passed, to transport me from the accident site to the hospital but I do remember that I was in an extreme amount of pain and that I was "unhappy" to be back in this body again. By back, I mean I clearly could tell that there was a definite "spirit" to my body and it had remained untouched and unhurt by all that had happened. I also knew I was losing the connection, that we were one and the same and as I look back now I remember drawing the conclusion that as long as I stayed in that "body", confusion, pain, loud noises and a distinct failure for anyone to hear me, was all I could look forward too.

I remember going into a room that was very bright and it seemed as though I was being cut up. I also remember feeling as though parts of me were being "cut away" some how. In fact, it was my clothing that was being cut away. I just didn't know it then because I could not see anything but blackness and sometimes vivid red and also because I could feel myself being lifted and pulled. Sometimes when this happened, it caused extreme pain! As I lay there, I realized that as the pain got worse, the room seem to be getting quieter. Finally, I could hear no sound and like before, all my pain stopped in an instant. It was then that I raced up towards this light again in what appeared to be a smaller tunnel. This time however, I did not go nearly as high and in another instant, the sound from the room came back and I was there looking down at "me" on the table. This time I knew it was me and it did not bother me. What did bother me was that all these people around me were so concerned and so upset. These people kept repeating.."We're losing him! We're losing him!" I wanted to answer them and tell them they had lost no one and that I was only "out of my body" because it hurt to much. I never once thought of death or dying in any way.

It was then that I saw this man far from me. He was near the light and as I looked towards him, I also seem to move towards him. When I got to his side, I noticed two things that seem perfectly natural to me. One, was that now I was in a long brown robe and two, I looked and felt as though I was in the best shape of my life. The man next to me was slightly taller than me, had dark brown shoulder length hair with a beard and he also was wearing a robe. I noticed his robe was also belted at the waist with a rope like mine. I also noticed his was white. I felt very guilty when I was near this man. As we stood there I was aware that every event in my life was forming in a picture ( like a video) right in front of us. ALL of my events from childbirth to present day were unfolding in front of us. It was humbling to know that lies, deceit, acts of violence or hate, along with kind acts or moments where I helped people, were being shown right before us. Humbling as this was, this man did not hold disdain or hatred towards me but seem to be glad that I was sorry for what I had done. It was at this point that he had me look towards the cliffs again. As I did and focused my eyes downward, I saw what appeared to be a long black line on the valley floor, leading to a river. In fact this line was actually thousands upon thousands of very old women all dressed in black and covered almost entirely from head to foot, with only there eyes showing. Each woman carried a newborn infant. As the women approached this river, they would place each infant at the edge of the riverbank. As soon as they did, each infant would rocket from the riverbank in a bright flash and disappear in a few moments. However, some infants did not make it. There were some that as soon as they would attempt to rocket away from the riverbank, a very dark almost black "haze or spirit" would grab it and both would disappear in a small ball of flame.

"You have much to do and I know you want to stay with me but it is not your time yet"! This was what this man said to me, as now we both looked at down at me on the table. I did not want to go back because I knew the pain would be almost unbearable. But I did go back and it was then I could hear the doctors say.."We got him back!" They were shouting at me and asking my name. As I told them my name and realized how much of an effort it took just to remember it, form the words and then finally say it, I knew this was going to be the first and last thing I would say for quite a while. It was then that I slipped into a coma.

To this day I do not know the reason I was shown the people climbing from the cliffs or why I was shown the women leading the newborn infants to that river. I do know that over all these years, I have never forgotten what I am telling you here and now. I believe there is a reason for everything but sometimes the reason is not always clear.

More to follow !